A Conversation With Autumn (the season, not a person)
Cold weather and I are not friends.
Each year, autumn comes along and tries to bribe me into liking the cold weather. She gets me to smile over pretty scarves and jackets, over pumpkin bread and the approach of Christmas. She says, "Look! It's so neat to be able to see your breath and watch the leaves change colors. I know how much you love pumpkins and cranberries. Summer was nice but it was so long, wasn't it? Aren't you excited about getting a new wardrobe and making a Christmas list?"
To which I reply: "Yes! I love all those things. There's just one problem. The COLD."
Autumn: "Oh come on, it's not that bad. Besides, I only make things a little nippy. If it's just cold you have a problem with, take it up with Winter."
Me: "Oh I will. I do every year. See, that's the problem: I really do like you, Autumn. You're great for so many reasons. Winter too! They don't say 'winter wonderland' for nothing. It can be so beautiful. Christmas is the trump card though: winter with no Christmas just wouldn't be a good thing. Hallmark would have to put out a 'Don't be so sad, it won't be cold forever' line of cards, and I bet they'd circulate pretty well in February."
Autumn: "You do like me! Good. Now, let me just show you how the whole cold weather thing really isn't all that bad ..."
Me: "Sorry Autumn, no can do. I live in a state which gets snow about once ever ten years. I'm made for sun, not ice. I used to think it would be cool to live in a place that had picture-perfect snow for Christmas, until I realized that snow means cold and wet and I don't like that combination. See, when you're out in 90 or 100 degree weather, like I'm used to in the summer, and need to cool down you simply sit in the shade, have some water, or jump in a pool or lake, pull out the sprinkler or simply crank up the AC and relax. All very fun things. When you're cold there comes a time when you have to get warm, and until you do, shivering, numbness, and chattering teeth aren't very fun to deal with. There comes a point when you simply can't function anymore because you're so cold. Does the word frostbite sound at all pleasant?"
Autumn: "Sunburn! Heat stroke! Weigh all the pros and cons will ya."
Me: "Oh I know about sunburn. But I still prefer summer to winter. That's all this is, after all: personal preference. Someone else will think the exact opposite of me, and that's fine!"
Autumn: "Fine. But you still like my pretty leaves and big turkey dinner, right?"
Me: "Of course I do. I've just realized that I'll never be as excited about the end of summer as I will be about the return of warm weather after winter."
Autumn: "Okay. So, friends?"
Me: "Friends."
So autumn and I are friends. It's winter that I'm still iffy about. I dislike the cold, but that's okay. Summers are long, and spring will come around eventually. Till then, pumpkin lattes are delicious, and I'm starting to look forward to hearing Christmas music again. I just wish there were more songs that were okay with Christmas not being covered in snow ...
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