Camera In My Heart

Sometimes,
I think that there's a camera inside my heart.
Moments come which are so beautiful,
buoyant,
joyous,
and I will myself to remember them always.
That's when I hear the tiny
'click'
and know that there camera has taken a photograph
so that I will not forget.

Other times
something embarrassing or painful happens
and I press my eyes closed and think
No, please.
A heart is made o muscle and tissue and blood.
It is not mechanical.
I can will it to remember and I can will it to forget.
Right?
Yet my heart does not always listen to my mind
and I hear the film advance and feel the tiny
'click'
as it takes a photograph,
so I will not forget.
Because -
it goes both ways.