Selfish/Selfless

I am a part-time nanny of twin 16-month-old girls. Children, I think, are not only the pinnacle of innocence but of the deepest selfishness. When children want something they don't just ask for it, they reach for it frantically, crying out, all their focus and effort streamlined onto the one thing they want in that one moment. If they don't get their way they scream and flail themselves around. I've been hit and kicked, even bitten, by children who instantly turned into monsters because they couldn't have their way. They feel emotions at the purest level: no filter, no radar for what is socially acceptable, no understanding of anything except what they want. To them, the world revolves solely around me, me, me.

I think that if we could, every person would stay in that exclusive bubble. Instead, the world forces us to consider others. We can be obnoxiously selfish but the world will dislike, even punish, us for it. To live in good society, one must learn to share. One must care about others desires and needs. It makes perfect sense. It just doesn't come naturally.

The twins I nanny like to take toys away from each other. One will have something and, more often than not, the other will decide that she needs the same toy and will attempt to take it from her sister. The twin who first had the toy will cry in distress or frustration. I'm constantly trying to explain to these toddlers, who are still learning how to speak, the concepts of sharing and being nice. They are wonderful girls: affectionate, smart, silly, and loving. But their natural instincts are simply for themselves above all else. That's why what happened the other day was so remarkable.

The girls had just woken up from their nap. I was changing one, Ally, when she began to make the sign for 'water' and say "Www, www."
"We'll get water in just a minute," I replied, glancing over at the table when two sippy cups sat.
A minute later, while I was finishing changing Ally, the other twin, Elly, came around the corner of the couch. Her big blue eyes gave me a sort of questioning look. Then, she stepped towards her sister and handed her a sippy cup. She had heard Ally ask for water, and had fetched it for her. It was probably the sweetest, most unselfish thing I had ever seen them do.

If man's nature was to be good then a toddler being attentive to her sister and lovingly bringing her water would be the norm. Instead, our nature has to be molded from the start, tempered away from the instinct to care only for ourselves and to throw a fit if we don't get our way. We have to be trained to give, to be selfless. Of course we want to believe, like Anne Frank, that there is good in everyone's hearts. I believe that there is the ability to be good in everyone's hearts, but that to act on that ability, to live that way, is a struggle. It goes against our nature. We can't read other people's thoughts and emotions. We have to learn to study them and react accordingly so we can try to live in harmony with other people. It can be a difficult tune to play. So worth it, of course. When Elly brought Ally the water, I believe that Elly had joy in giving just as much as Ally had joy in receiving, much more so than any time they swiped the other's toy or fought to have exclusive attention. I think that it's something we have to be reminded about again and again. We have to tune the instruments of our lives to the sound of selflessness. Not just because of society: after all, wouldn't most parents tell their children to return punches and look out for themselves at all costs if this one life was all they had and the self-centered desires all that ruled anyone's hearts? Instead, I believe in turning the other cheek and loving your neighbor. I believe that though man is sinful and selfish, there is a God who loves us and wants more for us and from us. I can't live to just please myself. I am meant to care for the rest of God's creation around me. Too often I don't lift my focus from the scope of my own self, which is a very sad thing. When I catch a glimpse of what a selfless world would be like, even through a moment between two toddlers, it is beautiful and convicting. We live in a me-obsessed world, and it is only through grace that we can sincerely be any different. A child can learn right from wrong. But as to why we should live it out, why it matters for our lives and our souls, is a heavenly music we must daily tell our consciences not to ignore.