Returning (a swift and lovely blur)

 
She threw her hair back
In a prophetic turn
It was expected
It was a swift and lovely blur

And compelled as she was to leave town
She was turning around
 - 'Miss You', by Caedmon's Call


I love the theme of hopeful returning. In the book/film 'Atonement', the character of Cecelia whispers imploringly to Robbie, the man she loves: "Come back. Come back to me." The two continue to hope that this will be something he will be able to do, and she repeats the plea or command or prayer in letters to him: "Come back. Come back to me."

In the film "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind", the vivacious Clementine speaks to Joel in a dream taking place in his desperate subconscious, saying four words which seem to haunt them both: "Meet me in Montauk". Without even trying, the two are drawn together, for better or for worse returning to the one they love.

The Caedmon's Call song quoted above is about returning. The refrain says, "I miss you, and I need to / 'Cause when I'm back in your arms/ It's twice as sweet." It's the old sentiment of 'absence makes the heart goes fonder'. It's become cliche, though it springs from truth. Space and distance can reveal one's true feelings. Is it time to move on? Or is it time to go home? Time to return.

Of course not all returning is hopeful. Sometimes there aren't happy reunions, or any at all. But as I'm looking at leaving home and moving away, it's comforting to think of returning. It's comforting to think of coming back to all the people I love, even with the possibility of it being hard to leave new relationships behind. Each leaving is bittersweet. There's always the possibility that there won't be a return, for any number of reasons. But it's the hope that gets bound up so messily/beautifully/entirely in the returning:  a spark to hold onto, a sweet dream that's saved and savored.


And I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of dust
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun

And I'll kneel down
Wait for now
And I'll kneel down
Know my ground

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
- "I Will Wait", Mumford And Sons