Stumbling and Soldiering

Once or so, I've felt I had been split down the middle

All parts of myself torn asunder

Still

I was the eternal optimist

believing in relief

found just over the horizon

While feeling like a soldier who is stumbling forward

Hands pressed tight against his abdomen,

his chest,

Trying to keep his organs from spilling out

Blood seeping through his fingers

soaking his clothes

Somehow -

teeth gritted in a smile through the pain –

He makes it all the way to the med tent

before asking for help

Though still I am that soldier

oft stumbling along

I’ve learned to ask for help when I am bleeding

for it is unnecessary and unwise

to always try and bandage oneself

I’ve learned

I can trust others with my wounds

(though tis always a risk, I admit:

hand someone your knife to hold and they can choose to cut you with it)

Sometimes I cannot carry all the pieces of myself alone

So I share this

while soldiering forward

and stumbling on

For if you need someone to press their hand against the wound in your heart

Stopper the blood

till we can try and properly bandage it up

I will.