Choosing To Love

"You have a power that Voldemort has never had. You can --"
"I know!" said Harry impatiently. "I can love!" It was only with difficulty the he stopped himself adding, "Big deal!"
"Yes, Harry, you can love," said Dumbledore, who looked as though he knew perfectly well what Harry had just refrained from saying. "Which, given everything that has happened to you, is a great and remarkable thing. You are still too young to understand how unusual you are, Harry." 

 - Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, chapter 23, by J.K. Rowling 



Baking is, for me, a joy. I have an ever-growing stockpile of favorite recipes and enjoy trying new ones. This love of baking came from my Mom: with every single birthday, she would ask each of her nine kids, "What kind of dessert would you like?" Favorites included cherry-pineapple dump cake, chocolate-chocolate cake, apple pie, and a light, fruity cake called "pig-licking' good cake". An assortment of cookies, brownies, fudge, and sweet breads also filled our home with the delicious aroma of something to savor after dinner. Home-made is made with love.

I've kept up the "what kind of dessert would you like?" birthday tradition with the Casa Gabriel boys, becoming the current resident baker. On Sunday, we celebrated David's birthday, and per his request I made a chocolate-maracuya cake. I made a maracuya custard (think passion fruit) to torte between the layers of the chocolate cake. I poured chocolate ganache over the whole thing, then decorated it with maracuya buttercream frosting. David loved it.

That afternoon, we played a game, ate cake, prayed over David and watched him open gifts. He smiled around at everyone, the room full of friends. Then, he said something which twisted my heart.

"Thank you so much for celebrating me. It means a lot. Really. My Mom never celebrated my birthday. She never remembered when it was. Another year would pass, and nothing. I was always really sad. Thank for you celebrating me."


When I hugged David later, he held on for a long time. In that place, in the arms of anyone there, he is safe and loved. David has such an incredible capacity for grace. He loves his Mom and does his best to care for her. From my own Mom, I learned that the question, "What kind of dessert would you like?" is simply tradition on one's birthday. Yet tradition for me was utterly lacking for David. I so admire the people who don't become hard from lack of love, who are somehow able to nurture a tender and real compassion for others rather than take the harsh realities the world has given them and return it with selfish intent.

May David be celebrated on many more birthdays and milestones to come. May he celebrate others with his infectious joy and willingness to serve. May we each grow compassion over coldness, and empathy over hate, when life seems unfairly skewed. May we all, despite any circumstances, be able to love.