Letters and Storms
Just like the world
And I need somebody to hold
You're out of sight
Although I know that I'm not alone
It feels like home"
Stormy weather is part of our story. Andy and I met online, and immediately began writing each other such long and increasingly personal messages that we called them letters. On the evening we agreed to meet face-to-face, I had gone to one of my favorite coffee shops on the lake. I’d watched clouds roll in before racing raindrops to get to my car just as the sky split open and let loose a torrent. I drove home slowly, hands gripped tight around the steering wheel as lightning lit up the sky in a non-stop array of sizzling might. Lightning ignites in me both a grand sense of awe, and a deep-seated, jangling fear. I read stories of lightning strike survivors as a child, and felt unnerved even by certain cartoons depicting traumatic electric shock, so when it comes to storms I feel safest only while well indoors. To this day, all logic aside, driving a metal car through lightning has me whispering haphazard prayers until I’m through my front door.
Safely home, I reread Andy’s message about our plan to meet. We were both excited, and in a burst of extra sharing, I confided in him how nervous driving through the storm had made me feel, and why. He replied with a message which was a little forward, a tad bold, and which warmed me through completely.
Dear Suzy,
Someday, if you’ll let me, I hope to hold you while it storms.
Sam
The tender note referenced yet another storm: the movie Moonrise Kingdom, where children Suzy and Sam run away and face a storm together towards the end. We both loved the movie for different reasons and would continue to incorporate it into sweet moments between us.
In Hawaii, where we got engaged, a storm caught us while driving around the island in a convertible. Andy pulled over and put the roof and windows up. We were wet and laughing as we continued the adventure.
The next day, we drove through a patch of rain which pattered on the windshield but didn’t touch us. We were going just fast enough through the light drizzle that it caught in the slipstream and was whisked over us.
While lightning makes me wary, rain I love. I grew up in a home with a tin roof, where the sound of rain was clear and comforting. Rain is one of my favorite smells, and the deepening colors of the countryside after rain is a beloved sight. All my life, I’ve had to accept the lightning with the rain; my fears and loves combined. Now, when I’m with my Andy, I get to have his arms around me, and his voice lovingly telling me, “I got you”.
Dear Sam,
You melt my heart.
Your Suzy
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Chrissy