A Road Expectant


"One life but we're not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other
One"
 - One, by U2



Traffic slows

Cars merge to and from the on ramp and freeway,

zippering in

A metal ballet.

I think about the last time I drove from my apartment to work

and how I didn’t know it would be the last time,

the time before,

Before I moved in with my fiancé 

before he was my fiancé

before our lives were as fully melded together

Shared loads of laundry tumbling in the dryer

shared bookshelves, meals, walks, and laughs.


I take the route to work which is still new

I never marked that first drive in my mind,

so now, I do 

Celebrating the newness, with a pensive goodbye to the loss of the past

the loss of the apartment shared with my sister

us uptown girls, place decked in pink

red wine memories of holidays and a pet bunny

Exchanged for my love’s kiss when I walk in the door 

for him handing me tissues when I cry

and for morning coffee in varying flavors 

enjoyed in our abundance of mugs.


I will drive home tonight, eager to see him

I am cognizant of the sweet newness, savoring it

I drive home, the ghosts of past goodbyes flashing past my vision

with the heady taste of expectant bliss on my lips.

I share the road with what is coming and has come before 

the moments which will be marked and remembered

along with those which dash past

like cars on the freeway

like a million scattered moments

Binding together 

as we go. 

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