Stethoscope

"The world's not forgiving
Of everyone's fears
The days turn into months, the months turn into years
So just for the moment, let's be still"
 - Let's Be Still, by The Head And The Heart  

When I was in my early twenties, I considered entering the medical field as a nurse or EMT. Upon learning of this, a coworker of mine, a woman in her sixties who had been a nurse for several decades, gave me a brand-new stethoscope as a gift. 

The stethoscope became a treasured item to me. I pull it out of it's box and settle the eartips in place. The tubing falls to the end of my torso. I take  the diaphragm and press it gently against my heart. Time slows. Other sounds and events become irrelevant. I close my eyes and let my senses tunnel in on the sound of that rhythmic beat, beat, beat. I breathe deeply, gradually slowing my heart rate. I savor the sound. I think of individuality, of how this exact sound and feeling belongs to myself alone. I think of connectivity, of the billions of people in the world all with similarly beating hearts. Some are racing, some are slow. Some are going out forever, and some are just barely fluttering into being. 

I've shown my stethoscope to a small handful of people over the years. I remember the first time I brought it over to Andy's place, back when we were dating. By then, putting my head on his chest and hearing his heart was one of my favorite things, so although it wasn't the first time we'd listened with attentive care to hear that sound, it was still unique. We guided the instrument carefully, finding just the right spot to listen. The sound of life and vigor and love came fresh into our ears: intimate. 

The stethoscope sits on a shelf in our closet. I see it and smile, knowing it's there to calm and center me if needed. I chose not to become a nurse or EMT, yet that never took away the interest I have in the medical field, or the reverence I feel for the stethoscope. When I take it out of it's box, it feels like a sacred thing. I can sit and create a few moments of quiet intention, tunneling down to one sound and feeling grateful, grateful, grateful. 

How wild and wondrous it is to be alive. How overwhelming at times, and how beautiful in others. Hearts breaking and mending and bursting with joy. Press a hand to your chest or a finger to your pulse. Make a fist and try to squeeze it in time with the muscle in your chest. Feel it steadily working while you move, sit, sleep. Every moment of our lives the world is filled with this simple reassurance of life. Thump, thump, thump. Beat, beat, beat.