To The Deep

"My soul is full of longing for the secret of the sea

And the heart of the great ocean sends a thrilling pulse through me."

 - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Just past the shoreline
there are jellyfish and stingrays, their poison at the ready
there are sharks, certainly 
(everyone thinks first of sharks)
there is salt which stings the eyes and sneaks onto the tongue
there are waves which push, which batter, which seem to say “Go back!”
Yet I push back, press forward,
my body tall as they crash against me
then diving through them as they crest
emerging on the other side unscathed
my lungs strong and stronger 
my arms paddling and feet kicking
until I can no longer touch the sandy floor
until the waves are but a gentle rocking lullaby
until I’m past the breakers, free

I float
I swim
I scan the shore, picking out my husband on the sand
The distance often takes me by surprise 
he surely could not hear me if I shout
There is a danger in being so far
of not knowing what swims below my feet, legs, torso
of knowing I must reserve energy to swim back 
yet the danger is part of what I savor
part of the delicious delight in propelling myself against the waves
forward, to this place of peace

I wonder 
if this is a way I can teach my son about courage
A small way, yet maybe poignant 
I hope, in his own way, he finds the tenacity
to face waves and jellyfish and stingrays and unfathomable depths
In taking steps which turn to full-body strokes
to swim out
past the breakers.