It's going to be good

During the week I leave for work at 8:30 to get there by 9:00. On the commute I switch through various radio stations; a surfer of music and talk who avoids commercials at all costs. There's one station in particular whose morning show I usually enjoy; four people behind the mics in a local radio station who are usually funny, up to date on world events, have interesting thoughts, contests, and callers, and keep things fairly clean. I appreciate the latter very much.

Yet when they switch to a commercial break or play a song I'm not into, I'll punch the buttons of the other stations programmed in my car stereo to see what else is on. There's this one rock station that, although I have it programmed into my stereo, I don't listen to it very much. It plays more rap and hip-hop than I'm interested in, and honestly the main reason I listen to it is to stay up to date on popular songs that, for one, my younger siblings are into. They too have a morning radio show, one that doesn't stay away from crass topics and opinions.

Though I knew the talk show on that station is rarely worth-while, I stopped my mad punching of buttons to pause on that station simply because it wasn't playing commercials or a song I didn't like. The topic of conversation between the morning show crew at the moment I landed on the station was sex and virginity. One guy on the station posed a question and scenario to another guy on the station. He said, "What if you were dating a girl in her mid-twenties, and she told you that she was a virgin who wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. What would you do?" The man who was being given the question reacted immediately, saying that he would run from that relationship as fast as he could, that he couldn't deal with a relationship that didn't include sex, and that there must be something wrong with the girl if she hadn't had sex already. I listened in shock which quickly became fury. The man talked on and on about how no sex was a deal breaker and how he would be worried that if (though it seemed unlikely of actually happening) that he accepted this and ended up marrying the girl, that she'd not know what to do, having had no experience. If I could have punched the man through the radio, I probably would have. "What about not wanting to get pregnant before getting married?" I wanted to shout. "What about STD's and emotional connections? Are you telling me you'd rather be with a girl who's 'tried out' any number of other guys sexually, instead of one who was pure? Do you not care about what your future wife might think about that?"

A tiny saving grace is that the guy who posed the questions stated that he at least could respect that in a girl. He felt that it would affect the relationship in some way, and that he'd be 'sad' to not get to have sex with her, but that he could definitely respect it if she felt that strongly about waiting until marriage. This was a little better, but it made me want to ask, "The girl who is pure isn't dreaming of a guy who has tried out sex with other women. She'll feel that he is comparing her to them. She'll worry about past ties."
That being said, I have many girl friends who were virgins when they got married, to men who were not. But the difference is is that the guys who became their husbands regretted their past actions and had abstained from it after realizing what it did to relationships, becoming committed to staying pure until marriage with the woman who then became their wife.

I can still hear the adament "No way!" of the guy on the radio in response to keeping a pure relationship until marriage. Such a selfish response makes me silently seethe, and ache. I AM that virgin girl in her mid-twenties. Run away if you so choose: you're not the one for me, then. Because I know this for a fact: when I do have sex, with my husband who I will be committed to for life, it will be good. My husband will be the receiver of my very generous passion, stored up until the time when a commitment will take away all boundaries, remove all doubts and leave us to freely and completely give ourselves to each other. In other words, my husband and I are going to have fun.

Writing this now, I feel sorry for the radio talk guy. He has purposefully blindsided himself; he is willing to give himself away to women who have done the same. Sex outside of love is cheap. Outside of marriage it is dangerous. Why has the majority of our society turned something so beautiful and intimate into something reckless? I worry for impressionable women who listen to men like the radio guy and think that in order to find love they have to give themselves away, when that's a heartbreaking lie. I know so many people who wish they could undo their sexual experiences, who wished they would have waited. Because it's worth the wait. Ignore what the world says about freedom and expression, choice and pleasure. Wait. It's going to be worth it. I haven't been there yet, but somehow I just know: it's worth the wait.

An article I read this afternoon on the other end of the spectrum: More Than "Damaged Goods", in Relevant Magazine - http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/20278-more-than-qdamaged-goodsq