wolf girl

There's a girl whom I've noticed a few times at church, a girl who carries a stuffed animal, a wolf, around with her. The toy is just the right size to fit into her arms. I don't know how old she is, but she is tall, just a few inches shorter than I am. I had noticed the wolf in her arms before but not in some time. Yesterday morning I was in the hall at church and she and a woman I'm guessing is her mom walked over the to the table where coffee and donuts were set up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the wolf and did a double take. Then I realized it was a stuffed animal and laughed.
"For a minute I thought it was a real dog," I explained with a smile to her mother, who stood near me getting coffee. The mother made a face that showed exasperation and weariness. An assenting grunt and nod were her only reply. It seemed that it was perhaps a sore, long drawn out subject. I smiled at the girl, who looked at me under low eyelids with guarded eyes. She had the wolf cradled securely in one arm. She looked away from me, down at the wolf toy. She kissed it on the head ever so tenderly and stroked it with her free hand. She was so tender and loving to that lifeless toy. Her age, her lack of communication, her mothers response, and her focus on a stuffed animal were all disturbing.

The space of time it took for me, a complete outsider, to observe this was less than two minutes. If it was my little sister who was acting that way (and my sister is ten while this girl I would guess to be about twelve) I would think it would be strange and unhealthy behavior. I wonder what could have triggered it? Some kind of loss or other trauma? Something that made the girl feel insecure, to the point where she clings to a toy and pours affection on it, probably believing that it loves her back. Or, maybe it's a chemical imbalance. I have no idea. But after removing the inital strangeness of the situation, I find it very sad.

I wonder about the mother, whose patience seems to have run thin, at least at that particular moment. Does she tell her daughter that she loves her? Does she hold and caress her daughter every now and then like the girl does with her wolf toy? I hope she doesn't just roll her eyes and tell her daughter to grow up. I remember being a child. I remember the feeling of security that could be wavered by the smallest things. I remember the fear of disappointing my parents coupled with the strong dislike of being told I was wrong or couldn't do something, and the times I knowingly chose my own way over what I had been told. I remember having a child's reasoning, a reasoning that knew better but would often justify opposite actions anyway. But of course, don't we still all feel and do those kinds of things even now that we are all grown up?

I've seen stranger things before when I worked at the dentist office. I think that the funny thing about humans is is that while we all have so many similarities and can even find other people who look like us, act like us, like the things we like, come from nearly identical backgrounds and live nearly identical lives, we are each so incredibly and indescribably unique. How we feel, express ourselves, experience and process things, deal and cope with things will never be the same in any two people. No two relationships that anyone will ever have will be the same. Relationships such as parenting. I hope the wolf girl and her mother can understand each other. I hope the mother is able to help her daughter, and that her daughter will accept the help, each of them with love and understanding.
Dear Wolf Girl, I don't know you, but I hope you feel loved ...

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