Realization and non-complacency
My church commissioned me to go to Ukraine yesterday. I love that.
I leave the 11th, Mother's Day, and return May 20th. I'm excited, and should probably start packing soon, or at least make a list. :)
I've realized something about myself recently: I'm a pleaser. I want to make people happy, and it makes me very happy when I accomplish that, and when people are happy with the work I do or how I do things or whatever. I don't think that this is a terribly bad thing. But then last night my pastor's sermon was on what sets the pace of our lives, and he talked about people who are task-oriented, who are procrastinators, and who are pleasers. He only touched briefly on this in the whole of his sermon but it impacted me. I want God to be the One I ultimately look at for approval, not people. I believe that I do trust God, and I ask Him to help me trust Him and for Him to lead me, but then it's also easy for me to have my attention snagged by what people think of me. I judge myself all the time compared to other people and I'm really trying to work on that. Like a child, I feel elated when appreciated or praised. Like a child, I need to always ask for my Father's approval.
For a long time I daily prayed, "God, show me where you want me to be in life." I had a good job, but I didn't feel like it was where I was needed, or really making a difference. Then I became the Director's Assistant at Breath Of Life, because I felt that it was where God wanted me to be. I'm in full-time ministry now, and I love it. It's a faith-stretcher no doubt. Money gets tight, and when someone you tried to help just goes and makes another slew of bad decisions it can be wearying. But God said for us to not weary of doing good. So I pray, "Lord, just show me what you want me to do and where you want me."
I don't want to ever be complacent in my faith or life. I want to be a pleaser in the fact that I yearn each day to please God more and more. I want my eyes to be on my Father, not distracted by the world. The first step is wanting ... but there are many more steps between that and achieving.
I plan to have joy in the journey.
I leave the 11th, Mother's Day, and return May 20th. I'm excited, and should probably start packing soon, or at least make a list. :)
I've realized something about myself recently: I'm a pleaser. I want to make people happy, and it makes me very happy when I accomplish that, and when people are happy with the work I do or how I do things or whatever. I don't think that this is a terribly bad thing. But then last night my pastor's sermon was on what sets the pace of our lives, and he talked about people who are task-oriented, who are procrastinators, and who are pleasers. He only touched briefly on this in the whole of his sermon but it impacted me. I want God to be the One I ultimately look at for approval, not people. I believe that I do trust God, and I ask Him to help me trust Him and for Him to lead me, but then it's also easy for me to have my attention snagged by what people think of me. I judge myself all the time compared to other people and I'm really trying to work on that. Like a child, I feel elated when appreciated or praised. Like a child, I need to always ask for my Father's approval.
For a long time I daily prayed, "God, show me where you want me to be in life." I had a good job, but I didn't feel like it was where I was needed, or really making a difference. Then I became the Director's Assistant at Breath Of Life, because I felt that it was where God wanted me to be. I'm in full-time ministry now, and I love it. It's a faith-stretcher no doubt. Money gets tight, and when someone you tried to help just goes and makes another slew of bad decisions it can be wearying. But God said for us to not weary of doing good. So I pray, "Lord, just show me what you want me to do and where you want me."
I don't want to ever be complacent in my faith or life. I want to be a pleaser in the fact that I yearn each day to please God more and more. I want my eyes to be on my Father, not distracted by the world. The first step is wanting ... but there are many more steps between that and achieving.
I plan to have joy in the journey.
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