Why Am I Here?
Do you remember what you wanted to be "when you grew up", as a child? The various careers you dreamed of and pretended to inhabit, back when our perceptions couldn't imagine that we'd ever have a boring job or relationship issues. There we were, you and I and everyone else: we were going to be firefighters or artists, doctors or movie stars. We were all set to marry the kid our age down the block and have a couple of adorable children and live in a beautiful house. We'd always be pretty and handsome and we'd always have money. Wasn't that a wonderful time?
I think that everyone has a moment somewhere in life when they stop dead in their tracks and ask, "How did I get here and what am I doing? What is the point of my life, of everything? Why am I here?"
Maybe the moment comes while working at a job you don't like, while paying bills and not seeing how you'll be able to make ends meet, or while in the middle of a breakup with the person you've invested months of time and all your heart into and whom you thought you would be with forever. It's a moment of questioning followed by discouragement.
In such a case, I think it would be the best thing ever if we could each experience a George Bailey moment. If we could catch a glimpse of what life would be like without us - who we have touched, very hopefully in positive ways, like the hero of "It's A Wonderful Life" - the instant of discouragement would immediately dissipate, replaced by a sense of understanding and acceptance. Oh Clarence, won't you come visit me?
Maybe we don't have a quirky guardian angel come down to earth, both on a mission to help us see life's purpose and beauty while trying to earn his wings, but maybe we don't have to. I often find myself in what a call dime-sized "Why am I here?" moments. The most recent one came when wondering if there is any way to help someone I know who is going through a rough time. I live with a family, and the father has been going through a time of emotional hardship that I can't even fathom going through. A close family member of his was arrested for stealing money from people, and is looking at years and years in jail. The repercussions of this family member's actions are overwhelmingly painful on the entire family. The father of the family I live with is particularly effected, as much of the weight of helping other family members falls on his shoulders. My "Why am I here?" question in this instance is this: Why was I put here, in this time, in this situation, and how am I supposed to make the most of it? How am I supposed to help and encourage?
I don't believe in chance or coincidence. I know I'm here with this family at this time for a reason. So, what reason might that be? I try to be helpful; do the dishes, take out the trash, things like that. I'm an encourager by nature, and an optimist, but what kind of encouragement and hope can I give in this situation that isn't cheesy and unmeaningful - i.e., I'm not in that situation, so what I say carries no weight of empathy, but merely the fluff of well-meant yet basically ignorant sympathy from a bystander's perspective. Is is better even to not mention it? Stick to the face of normality, which, in all honestly, is what I tend to do anyway. The incident isn't glaring in my face, so it's easy to forget about it. Then I remember, and a bit of my heart breaks with sadness for the family who is going through such a trial.
You may be expecting a nice tidy answer to come next, a surprising reveal as to how I found my purpose in this situation, how it's effecting me and those around me and what I forsee the future bringing. But the honest truth is that I don't know the answer. I don't know why I am here at this time. I don't know what my purpose is in this instance, but I believe this, with all my heart: if I pray for God to keep me vulnerable to His molding, willing to be used by Him in each and every situation, then He will show me the answer to my repetitious wondering: "Why am I here?" He may not give me an answer on this earth, but I trust that He knows it, and has known it all along. When God gives you or I a peace about something, an assurance that yes, He is still in control and has been all along, isn't that better than any answer that we earthly beings may not understand anyway?
We may ask for night vision, and He might instead give us a hand to hold in the darkness. A hand that has been there all along. We just forgot about it because we were too busy straining our eyes to see into the night.
My challenge to myself is this: to never stop praying for His guidance in all situations, and to never forget that His hand is always there, always, guiding me. I don't have to use my eyes to see if He has me by the hand. Whether it's my whole life that I suddenly find reason to question, or just a puzzling dime-sized moment, "Trust and Prayer" will be the words tatooed on my conscience. To follow Him; obediantly, trustingly, prayerfully, diligently, faithfully, lovingly. That's why I'm here.
I think that everyone has a moment somewhere in life when they stop dead in their tracks and ask, "How did I get here and what am I doing? What is the point of my life, of everything? Why am I here?"
Maybe the moment comes while working at a job you don't like, while paying bills and not seeing how you'll be able to make ends meet, or while in the middle of a breakup with the person you've invested months of time and all your heart into and whom you thought you would be with forever. It's a moment of questioning followed by discouragement.
In such a case, I think it would be the best thing ever if we could each experience a George Bailey moment. If we could catch a glimpse of what life would be like without us - who we have touched, very hopefully in positive ways, like the hero of "It's A Wonderful Life" - the instant of discouragement would immediately dissipate, replaced by a sense of understanding and acceptance. Oh Clarence, won't you come visit me?
Maybe we don't have a quirky guardian angel come down to earth, both on a mission to help us see life's purpose and beauty while trying to earn his wings, but maybe we don't have to. I often find myself in what a call dime-sized "Why am I here?" moments. The most recent one came when wondering if there is any way to help someone I know who is going through a rough time. I live with a family, and the father has been going through a time of emotional hardship that I can't even fathom going through. A close family member of his was arrested for stealing money from people, and is looking at years and years in jail. The repercussions of this family member's actions are overwhelmingly painful on the entire family. The father of the family I live with is particularly effected, as much of the weight of helping other family members falls on his shoulders. My "Why am I here?" question in this instance is this: Why was I put here, in this time, in this situation, and how am I supposed to make the most of it? How am I supposed to help and encourage?
I don't believe in chance or coincidence. I know I'm here with this family at this time for a reason. So, what reason might that be? I try to be helpful; do the dishes, take out the trash, things like that. I'm an encourager by nature, and an optimist, but what kind of encouragement and hope can I give in this situation that isn't cheesy and unmeaningful - i.e., I'm not in that situation, so what I say carries no weight of empathy, but merely the fluff of well-meant yet basically ignorant sympathy from a bystander's perspective. Is is better even to not mention it? Stick to the face of normality, which, in all honestly, is what I tend to do anyway. The incident isn't glaring in my face, so it's easy to forget about it. Then I remember, and a bit of my heart breaks with sadness for the family who is going through such a trial.
You may be expecting a nice tidy answer to come next, a surprising reveal as to how I found my purpose in this situation, how it's effecting me and those around me and what I forsee the future bringing. But the honest truth is that I don't know the answer. I don't know why I am here at this time. I don't know what my purpose is in this instance, but I believe this, with all my heart: if I pray for God to keep me vulnerable to His molding, willing to be used by Him in each and every situation, then He will show me the answer to my repetitious wondering: "Why am I here?" He may not give me an answer on this earth, but I trust that He knows it, and has known it all along. When God gives you or I a peace about something, an assurance that yes, He is still in control and has been all along, isn't that better than any answer that we earthly beings may not understand anyway?
We may ask for night vision, and He might instead give us a hand to hold in the darkness. A hand that has been there all along. We just forgot about it because we were too busy straining our eyes to see into the night.
My challenge to myself is this: to never stop praying for His guidance in all situations, and to never forget that His hand is always there, always, guiding me. I don't have to use my eyes to see if He has me by the hand. Whether it's my whole life that I suddenly find reason to question, or just a puzzling dime-sized moment, "Trust and Prayer" will be the words tatooed on my conscience. To follow Him; obediantly, trustingly, prayerfully, diligently, faithfully, lovingly. That's why I'm here.
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