Be

 
"Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave"
 - Brave, by Sara Bareilles


When the above single began to play on the radio, I played it again and again. There were a couple of difficult conversations which I had to have, one with someone who means a lot to me. I was terrified of being rejected, of my words coming across wrong and causing pain. Yet I was more afraid of not saying anything.
The conversation went so well that I wondered how I could ever have thought anything to the contrary. Yet that conversation led to another one which was as cooly brief as the first had been warm and understanding. The first conversation happened out of love and long-held respect: the second out of respect to that first person. As I drove to each meeting, I prayed, and afterwards I cranked up the volume to the above song.

At the time I was also preparing to move to Costa Rica for language school, as long as my funds came in. I was saying goodbye to family and friends while trying to have faith that everything would come together in time. There were many songs and words which encouraged me to keep moving forward: "Brave" is perhaps simply the catchiest. It came out at just the right time, when I needed a strong back-beat to fire me up.

The reminder makes me smile. I want to be brave in the right way. I want to be brave enough to rely on God and not myself. I'm an independent, do-it-myself type person. When I find myself thinking, "I can do this," I have to stop and say, "No. God can do this." He has given me abilities and gifts which I try to use as best I can, but I have to remember that they come from Him. I need to let His words speak through me. I need to let His actions manifest themselves in mine. It's a struggle with never ending lessons and reminders, but I need to make sure that I am both seeking Him and giving Him the glory. He says, "Fear not." He says,"Be strong and courageous."
Brave.