When Language Learning Is Like Dating

 “Language is the road map of a culture.  It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.”
‒Rita Mae Brown


Sometimes, speaking a second language feels like going on a date. You prepare in your mind what you're going to say in the specific situation. You're a little nervous, but you tell yourself to be cool, smooth, calm, relaxed. You want to put your best face - or voice - forward. Yet when the time comes, a single moment can leave you flustered. The words somehow end up tripping over themselves as they leave your mouth. An unexpected question comes up, and your mind is racing first to understand, then to form a response in the correct tense. You have to know the words, but then you have to know how to conjugate them, how to turn them into past tense, or plural, and if it's a formal language such as Spanish, you have to have to assess who you're speaking to and if the polite form of you - usted - or the more casual form - tu - is appropriate.

Sometimes you walk away from the encounter inwardly annoyed at yourself, embarrassed and blushing. Why couldn't you remember that one word? Why did you have to ask him to repeat himself twice before you understood?

Yet, as humbling as it is, it is also thrilling. Like going on a date that show so much potential, despite any initial awkwardness, speaking a second language leaves me wanting more. When I first started learning, I told myself again and again that I had to swallow my pride and be okay with sounding like a cave man or a toddler, stringing together painfully simple sentences to get by. Smile big, laugh at mistakes, be open to correction, and keep trying.

I'm still working towards fluency, yet by now there are hardly any situations I can't handle in Spanish. I attend weekly staff meetings in Spanish, give directions to taxi drivers, meet with the finance department, compose emails, and prepare devotions. The boys I work with sometimes laugh at me when I say something wrong or don't understand the first time, but it's a loving kind of teasing. They know me well enough to know I won't be offended. It's brotherly, which is exactly the kind of relationship I hoped for.

So if you're learning something new, don't be discouraged. Whether it's a new language or any other kind of skill (or yes, even going on a first date), keep at it. Don't give up. Prepare to be calm and expect to get flustered. It's just a part of the learning curve. There will be little victories along the way, special milestones, that make it all worth it.