Daily Directions
How come I end up where I belong"
- 15 Step, by Radiohead
The building I work in has two connected towers, east and west. Each tower has four elevators and two sets of stairs. When I arrive in the morning I usually wait for an elevator since my shoulder is heavy with my satchel which contains a laptop, papers, water bottle, lunch and book. But to check the mail in the basement, I take the stairs, and sometimes I take them as a quick break, walking down five flights and back up just to stretch my legs.
I eat lunch by a window in the atrium which connects the towers, reading. When the weather is warmer I prefer to be outside, but in winter a window will do. When I finish my sandwich I put down the book and go for a walk through the building. I stride down some winding halls before taking the stairs. Down five flights, sprinting back up, then walking slowly but determinedly to the sixth floor in my skirt and flats, catching my breath. Thankfully, as usual, I have the stairs to myself.
The particular staircase I take is one which also leads to the roof. I can sense, before I see it, that the door to the roof is open. A breeze wafts down the stairs and ruffles my skirt. I gingerly climb the last flight and see the door propped open with a bucket. I want to go up and out but don’t know if I’m allowed. Hanging out on the roof seems like one of those things which happens frequently on TV but which a state-owned office might frown upon, concernedly. To go out feels strangely like sneaking or trespassing, as though curiosity might get the cat in a whirl of trouble, so, skirts still rustling, I let it be.
I walk back down to my floor and around a few more hallways. The watch on my wrist tells me my pulse when I check. I can see the spike when I sprinted upstairs, though it quickly leveled out. My breathing under my mask has normalized again. It’s nearly 1:00, so I head back to work, back to my cube filled with office supplies and documents. Back to spreadsheets and requisitions and phone calls and the general work of the day. Maybe I’ll ask someone about the roof; is access allowed? Can I go up there, just to see the view? Just to feel the breeze?
When I look out of my cube I can see through a window facing north, and another one facing east. To get home I’ll drive south, to my apartment where I can’t directly see the westering sun but whose orange blaze is caught in the reflection of windows in all directions.
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