New Things

"Maybe it's much too early in the game
Oh, but I thought I'd ask you just the same
What are you doing New Year's, New Year's Eve?"
 - What Are You Doing New Year's Eve, by Frank Loesser

With the new year coming up, I could reflect back on the crazy year it's been, plus hope for the future, yet in this moment I simply want to share one thing: this New Year's Eve, when the clock strikes midnight and the ball drops and 2021 begins, I'll be quietly ringing it in with my love, my Andy, having my very first New Year's kiss. 

It's so iconic, the celebratory midnight kiss. It's never worked out for me before, and truth be told, New Year's Eve in general has always personally been a bit of a complicated holiday. I love my family's celebration of a campfire, movies, Coke floats and possibly fireworks. I've always been on the 'more fireworks!' crowd, desiring a rowdy 'jump up and down, holler and shout' welcome to the new year. The traditions in Ecuador suited me well; burning effigies in the streets to symbolize the end of the old year, then jumping over the flames to welcome in the new. (I'd jump over the fire even when I was wearing a dress.) There was partying in the streets, with Roman candles and people running around the block with a suitcase as a lucky act to hopefully travel more in the new year. It was wild and noisy, and appealed greatly to the thrill-seeking side of me. Also, if I'm honest, being single on New Year's has always felt lonely, so it follows that I craved the cacophony as a welcome distraction. 

I never want to negate singleness, and for the many years I was single or dating I was happy in a different way. I don't believe in the "You complete me" line. I believe we should each be complete people who come together and compliment each other. I am thankful for the solo time I had to grow as a person, which held contentment of a different kind. My confession is simply that New Year's Eve has always felt slightly tinged in blue. So, for that reason, I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve like never before. 

The best difference this year among a great slew of different and difficult things is that I'll be with Andy. We love to care for each other. He checks in with me all the time: 
"Are you hungry?" "Are you cold?" "What are you feeling?"
It's a privilege to be tender with each other, to laugh uproariously at the ridiculous puns we come up with, and to share stories from our lives while creating new ones. Here, then, will be a simple story to recall in later times; first welcoming in of the new year, together. 

There won't be any big parties to go attend, and in fact it may be the calmest celebration I've had, just Andy and I. Likely, I'll bring over some sparklers and champagne, and we'll watch the ball drop in New York, per tradition. We talked the other day about how maybe next year, we'll throw a party, or go out dancing. Yet for this year it will be enough to be together, just the two of us saying farewell to 2020 and hello to 2021, kiss and all.

Cheers to the old year
and cheers to the new
A toast, now, to all which has past
Good wishes to me
and good wishes to you
Joy and love; may it blossom and last.