Fear Not, Little Flock

I hadn't realized that moving to a new country would mean opening up a Pandora's box of new fears. 
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For the second time in a week, one of my friends here in Costa Rica was visually molested. Both times it happened in the middle of the afternoon, in broad daylight, as they were walking on the sidewalk of the main boulevard on which the Spanish school, and my home, is located. They told me that as they walked, a car pulled up next to them so that naturally they looked over. Their first instinct was that someone was about to rob them. Instead, a middle-aged man was staring at them, fully exposed in his car. My friends chose to look away and keep walking, trying not to give any kind of reaction, and the man drove off. The first time it happened, four of us students agreed to always walk each other home. But then it happened again today, when one girl was walking a mere three blocks. It was so hurtful and horrible, we honestly all wanted to punch the man in the face. Now we can be prepared to try to note the license plate number if it happens again, though sadly, the police often don't do much about that kind of thing.

When my plane landed in CR back in June, all I knew was that I had to look for a person holding a sign with my name. I knew nothing about the Tico family I'd be living with, and I am so thankful that we have gotten along well. It's been good, though there was fear of the unknown which took a while to dissipate.

During the Orientation for the school, I was informed of the dangers of being robbed. It was something I expected, so I was prepared to be aware of careful. It simply became more real when my Tico family told me about how their cell phone was taken at gunpoint one evening, and how Americans at the school have been robbed, including a man who had his rent money stolen during the day, even while his three-year-old daughter clutched his hand (rarely do robbers pull a gun on someone with a child, yet there is always an exception). I have learned to be more aware of my surroundings, spring-loaded as it were to run or punch or simply hand over my money peacefully. Loosing some cash or my cheap cell phone wouldn't be much of an issue. It's how shaken up my friends were after the man in the car exposed himself to them; something new to worry about just while walking down the street. It puts a question mark on humanity, a bit.

It's easy, I think, to see the glamor of living in another country. There's a lot of it. Costa Rica is beautiful and exotic. It's exciting to be learning a new language and culture and preparing to do mission work. But it's hard to be away from home, family, friends, and all things familiar. It's hard to know that if something bad happens, I'll be dealing with a new language on top of everything else. It's so hard to not be able to pick up the phone and call people back home. Sometimes it's frightening to be brave.

So it's been comforting to see how God is, of course, an ever-present encouragement and strength. When reading through the Bible in the mornings, I was struck by verses which said 'fear not'. They jumped out without me even looking for them. My favorite one so far is this:

"But rather seek ye the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."  (Luke 12:31-32, KJV)

Not long after I came here, leaving my beloved church behind, my pastor did a series on Biblical Encouragement. I listened to the recordings online. I hadn't expected to feel so connected to it. I have been incredibly blessed by the prayers and emails of people back home, and with the strong assurance that I am where I'm supposed to be. I suppose I had forgotten how discouragement can feel like fear, both somewhat paralyzing in their own way. I'm an optimistic person by nature and choice, yet there have been times in the past when I felt as though I were directionless, drowning in uncertainly. I plan on listening to the sermons again, yet my pastor made two points which especially stood out: how two saying which are meant to be comforting in hard times - that God will never give you more than you can handle, and that the safest place to be is in the middle of His will - are ridiculously untrue. Of course God will give us more than we can handle, because we are meant to rely on Him! He will get us through on His strength, not ours. We are not meant to think we can do things all on our own, but rather to "trust in, cling to, and rely on Him" (one of my favorites of my pastor's sayings). Also, being in the center of His will is not safe, but dangerous! Look to the apostles as proof, who agreed to take up metaphorical AND physical crosses and follow Him. Disregard prosperity preaching - it's worth it to be afraid just to trust in God and have faith that, "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him" (I Corinthians 2:9).


Fear not, little flock. Fear not. We have a Shepherd whose good pleasure it is to give us His kingdom. That is encouraging. That is comforting. That is God's love, even in the midst of fears and trials. I chose to live knowing the fullest scope I can of the dangers and horrors in this world, and be prepared for them, just as I chose to not live in fear. I will not let it latch onto me. I am an independent kind of person who chooses not to be afraid, because I know I can rely on God through and above anything. He says to fear not, so I'll say, "Yes."



:: Link to listen to my pastor's four-part "Biblical Encouragement" series:
http://www.tnova.org/#/media